What is my passion? I’ve been asking myself for years.
And till now, I still don’t know the answer.
Since I was young, I was taught to obey.
LISTEN. FOLLOW. DON’T ARGUE
So I did. Not because I wanted to.
But because I was very afraid.
Very afraid of disappointing.
Very afraid of making them angry.
Very afraid of being “wrong.”
Sometimes, I felt like a puppet. Someone else holding the strings. That is what happens when you spend your whole life living someone else’s dream instead of finding your own passion.
As I grew up, I didn’t become braver.
I just became quieter. I learned to hide my thoughts.
To accept their dreams as mine.
Now when people ask, “What do you love doing?”
I freeze. I realise I don’t know what I love. I wrote about one moment that first cracked this open for me — the day I stopped drawing, and how a small act of obedience quietly killed something I loved.
But at least now, I’m asking.
And maybe… that’s the start. If you’re trying to figure out who you actually are beneath all the conditioning, this piece on what it actually means to become yourself is worth reading next.